It has been 4 months since my last blog-post.
We celebrate Thanksgiving this week and I am completely healthy.
Two years ago the Hubs and I had just purchased our first house together and I had a leukemia relapse. One year ago I developed a drug-resistant bronchitis/pneumonia which led to a bronchoscopy and a failed IVIG treatment.
Those years blistered with pain and heartache. Each person in our family carried a broken heart.
This year is different. We are happy, we are healed. We are in a season of goodness and celebration!
Last summer I got healthy again and had a very hard time moving forward. I did not know what to do because, what do you do when your life has been thrown so far from center for such a long time? Though it sounds simple, finding yourself and moving forward after life altering crises is actually quite challenging.
In my experience unplugging, taking lots of healing walks, praying, listening to positive podcasts, allowing myself to cry and ask why are necessary steps in moving forward.
When I got sick in 2001 I did not understand any of it. I loved my life prior to illness and I played by the rules. Though I was young and certainly made immature decisions (aka “mistakes”), I was a compassionate and loving person who had a committed relationship to God. I had worked so hard for a career that was budding in my early 20’s. It made no sense that my world would collapse due to illness.
From the very beginning of my journey I prayed that God would use my story to encourage other people who are hurting. I understood that if my life could turn on a dime so could the lives of millions. I hoped that God would put a purpose to the pain I went through because…well, don’t we all want some purpose to come from the most defining moments of our lives?
15 years later, hurting people are inspired by my story and seek me out for suggestions because they are where I once was. This role brings with it much more weight and humility than I ever imagined it would.
As I type this post I have precious people in my mind who are facing mountains, their world is upside down, their families are hurting. My spirit hurts for them and while I cannot provide perfect words to soothe them I do know that healing happens in baby steps and God is faithful.
3 weeks ago during one of my healing walks, our pup and I came across a bench that took me back to younger years. It looked like a bench I would have spent time at when as a camper or a camp counselor. Then God brought to mind the verse I have clung to through the brilliant and brutal times of my life.
“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” — Deuteronomy 31:8
He is always right here with me and during the darkest times He picks me up and holds me extra close.
To those of you who are hurting this Thanksgiving, I pray that you can hold on to the hope that what you are facing today will not last forever. Cling to positive words and find strength in gratitude which has been a healing tool in my life.
You can find most of my writings, recipes and follow along with me as I do my best to live a healing lifestyle at my Instagram account dedicated to The Feel Good Days.