This morning, while making a cup of tea, I read the message attached to the bag and exhaled.
I felt like God wrapped His almighty arms around my tired frame as I processed the simple word “renew”.
Merriam-Webster defines renew: “to make (something) new, fresh, or strong again”
What you do not know is that we are facing a scary bump on the healing path right now. I am sleeping again, too much. I am falling asleep while sitting up. I am forgetting to eat. And we are doing that thing where all of us are looking for explanations as to why I am sleeping so much.
This is the thing, when you have a history of leukemia and then that leukemia figures it’s way around one type of chemotherapy allowing you to slip into a relapse, it is awful. When you and your family swim through waters as murky as mud to find a way for you to tolerate the new chemotherapy and get back into remission, You are left in a state that is simultaneously strong and more delicate than fragile.
And if you are one my blog readers then you know that last year’s relapse was cruel. I have only been back in remission for 4 months and even though, most likely, I am probably just fine, this sleeping thing is scary for all of us.
So right now, we wait.
We wait until my CML (chronic mylogenous leukemia) markers return which will be in a few weeks. At which point, I will see my oncologist and we will learn whether or not my body is still in remission.
So, this morning, when I pulled out a tea with “renew” as it’s message, I sent my mother a text and her reply was like mine: A big smile 🙂
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.