Fragile. Raw. Defeated.
those are the words right now.
Last night I had one of the 10/10 migraines and it was horrific. I am not in pain this morning (thank you God). However I feel like I have been in a terrible accident. I am due to start my menstrual cycle any day now and as neurologists have told me, menstrual migraines are the hardest to control. In addition, to my hormone levels, there was a bad storm last night. Those are triggers I cannot change.
More than anything, I feel completely done, like I can’t keep fighting for health. I know this feeling, I have had it in the past and I am sure that most migraineurs also know this feeling…the feeling of total despair, the inability to keep going, the absolute frustration that no matter how hard I try, how clean I live, how much I avoid triggers, my days and nights and plans get pushed around by migraines.
Oh I pray for help. God has done so many miracles in my life. I pray that He will lift my spirit and give me the courage to keep going. I pray that today’s botox treatment will work. I pray that I will be the fun and happy wife my husband married 5 years ago this weekend. I pray that I will be able to 100% enjoy our anniversary trip. God, I ask you in Jesus holy name, for help. I need encouragement and your strength to keep going.